Deep

This morning..the pleasant breeze is so nice, amidst the not-so-distant mild buzzing of the morning Saturday traffic. But since my room is on the other side of the house, I only enjoy it at the other window briefly. No, I am not going out, not just yet. I have something to do for today. Some work. I don't usually bring work home, just only when I need it. Anyway, there's a need to gather up the mood and spirit to start doing what I plan to do, and somehow, that need is translated to get into the virtual world and checking for updates. Then I saw something, an image. A creative effort of immortalizing the moments that you cherish. An image that will make you stay like the way you are now, even for thousands of years, doesn't make you older. I saw it, and I felt something. Well, I am still feeling it. A mixture of things. A bit of happiness, to see a happy moment. A sunken feeling, to unfulfilled dreams. Mine? Yes. The case is similar, yet something is different. A lot, actually. 

Funny, I thought. People can find the sense of belonging within each other, amidst the obvious differences. Funny..but it is reality. Funny, when you meet someone for the first time, but you feel that you've known that person for a long time. The comfortable feeling, the understanding, the unspoken words yet by a look it mends everything. When you feel it, you know it. But sometimes it is hard to bear, when distance is involved.

Yes, it is difficult.When everything now has to be done between thousands of miles. But still, the feeling is fresh...and never stop blooming. You dream for a better situation, yet when keeping the reality in check, you know, it won't happen so soon. Thus, the sunken feeling.

I keep on surfing....and I found this,

Insan perlu sedar, antara penghalang rahmat Tuhan kepadanya adalah dosa dan kesalahannya. Dan, setiap insan pula tidak terlepas dari salah dan dosa. Sehebat mana pun, sealim mana pun dia, insan tetap insan, terdedah kepada dosa. Jika tidak anggotanya, mungkin dosa jiwa atau hati nurani yang sombong dan bongkak, atau hasad atau sangka buruk dan pelbagai lagi. Percikan dosa sentiasa ada. Ia penghalang cahaya indah syahdu antara nurani insan mendampingi Allah untuk menjadi kekasihNya. Maka, doa sentiasa diganggu oleh dosa. Apakah penawar yang menerangi jalan agar doa itu sampai kepada insan dengan pantas dan mustajab?Jawapannya ialah taubat dan ‘istighfar’ iaitu kembalikan kepada Allah dan memohon ampun kepadaNya. Dengan jujur, dengan luhur, dengan kusyuk. Itulah penawar yang akan membuka kebahagian hidup. Itulah janjiNya: (maksudnya)

“Dan hendaklah kamu meminta ampun kepada Tuhan kamu, kemudian bertaubat kepadaNya supaya Dia memberi kamu nikmat kesenangan hidup yang baik (di dunia)…” (Surah Hud: 3)

Full article can be read here: Minda Tajdid

Yes, maybe I haven't prayed enough. Maybe I haven't fully recognized and analyzed my deeds and doings. All my efforts, are nothing without His Blessings. Thus.....

I cannot stop trying....

..and I have to keep going on...