bila aku terasa tua

bila aku terasa tua
bukan aku gembira dengannya
bukan juga aku gundah gelana
cuma aku terasa dewasa

bila aku terasa dewasa
lantas terintai memori lama
di balik tabir emosi gila
dan jeritan hati tidak bersuara

bila aku terasa tua
keutamaanku berkalih rasa
pandanganku beralih hala
matlamatku mencari nyata

bila aku semakin tua
pintaku pada Yang Esa
agar aku lebih bersedia
bersedia untuk kembali padaNya


The dreamer©2013

the 'L' phase

Love can be ever-changing. Love can be one. 

Love can be challenging. Love can be won.

Love is dynamic. Love is energy. 

Love is motivation. Love is beautiful.

Love needs no reason. Love IS reason.

The love that I know is not at first sight. 

Slow, growing and sowed,

by kindness, respect and good nature.

Warms the heart. Touches the soul. Makes me glow.

The love that I know is rocking my world.

Swaying me to its rhythm.

Challenging me, transforming me,

into the best version of the person inside me.

The love that I know is making me feel

vulnerable yet secure, confused yet assured.

The love that I know is the greatest test of life.

The epitome of hope.

Yes, I dare to hope.

The dreamer©2013

Secangkir Teh Pengubat Letih ... life in Turkey

The first book I read in 2013 is the utterly interesting travelogue by Hasrizal Abdul Jamil or also known as Abu Saif entitled Secangkir Teh Pengubat Letih. Although this is the second book I read that comes from the same author, it is actually written earlier than Di Hamparan Shamrock Ku Seru Nama-Mu (2012), which I have read and reviewed in this blog.

Title : Secangkir Teh Pengubat Letih

Author : Hasrizal Abdul Jamil

Publisher/Year : Galeri Ilmu Sdn. Bhd. (2010), 267 pg

Language : Malay (with a bit of English and Turkish here and there)

ISBN : 97898309723811

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I am amazed by this author's travelling notes compilation that resulted in an amazing piece of writing. In this book, the author relates about his frequent travels to Turkey during the 90s, while he was still a university student in Jordan. From this, I gained an insight on this unique country of Turkey, from the historical, Islamic and academic perspectives. I learned and became aware of the Othmaniyyah era, Abu Ayyub Al-Ansari, Mustafa Ibn 'abd Allah, Badiuzzaman Said An-Nursi, Sultan Muhammad Al-Fatih, Sultan Abdul Hamid II and other important figures and significant events of the past.

I am well fed with my own imagination, guided by the author's descriptions of seeing Bosphorus Strait and the nearby Blue Mosque, Canakkale and other beautiful and peaceful places where Islam is still deeply embedded in the hearts and souls of the dwellers, and from the author's observation and close relationship with his Turkish friends, enlightens me of what it means to be a Muslim in this country (and the best qualities they portray because of that fact) and being true to who they are and the challenges they have to face in the midst of secularism attacks. Perhaps now it's a different story in Turkey, or still the same? I guess this motivates me to read further and open my eyes, my mind and my heart to other parts of the world. A very good read. Delve in the author's views and analysis, and learn from his experiences and observations. 

It's like seeing a new horizon. I guess I'm craving for Turkish tea now.

One of my favourite quotes extracted from this book:

"Siapa kamu menentukan cara kamu melihat." 

"Cara kamu melihat menentukan apa yang kamu dapat."

Loosely translated; 

Who you are as a person determines how you see. The way you see things determines what you get in return.

sunset at tanjung aru ...

the faces of Tanjung Aru Beach, KK, as the sun waves goodbye

love talks

#1

if another year goes by without a goodbye
if another year comes with a step closer
if another year apart (and i miss you even more)
if another year
if another
if
if there's an answer
let us make it through
let's find it

#2

tears streaming down my face
dreaming of your last embrace
pink, love, hearts, envelope
sound minds don't elope

#3

i know a bear
who's warm, fuzzy, but a bit grizzly
and his heart is the kindest of all in the bear kingdom
he's sweet but not Pooh
he's white but not a polar bear
but if he's a Care Bear, i'd think ...
his belly badge might be of something gentle and rare
coz there's no one like this bear
of all in the bear kingdom


The dreamer©2013

2012 is less than 24

Sad to say, I didn't achieve my target of reading 24 books for this year, 2012. (For those who don't have a clue about what I'm talking about, please refer to the 2012 Reading Challenge widget on the left panel). People usually brag about their accomplishments and achievements. I think no one would like to tell the world about their failure. Well, no one .... except me, at the moment. Shame on me. Huhu.

One of the main cause, excluding work commitments, is DISTRACTIONS. The whole lot of it. Also, I think I was rather picky. It took quite a while to find a title that would amuse me and grab my 100% attention to read it. Anyway, since I couldn't achieve this, I will maintain the number of books I want to read next year, which is coming in a few hours. So, one of my challenge for 2013 is to improve my reading habit and read at least 24 books. The more, the better.

To achieve that, I had analysed the distractions and now I have to take care not to let them sway me further from the path of wisdom, haha. The key to achieve everything that I want to do is TIME. Once I take care of time well, everything else will be taken care of. I love reading. I love books. All my life I have been enjoying it. All of the 14 titles that I managed to read this year have provided me all the good things in my life; accompaniment, knowledge, motivation, fun time etc. 

So, wish me luck!

The Kite Runner

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This book is a worldwide bestseller but I can't help to notice that people gave mixed reviews on it. For me, perhaps I would categorize the experience of reading Khaled Hosseini's The Kite Runner as one of the most emotional and heartbreaking and the story might be one of the most moving to the heart, because my feelings concentrates more on the storyteller's personal story, feelings and experience. Perhaps the people who doesn't like this book is more concerned on the portrayal of war and Taliban rule in it. The inhumanity of war, the saviour that turned to oppressor themselves of the Taliban in Afghanistan, all the extremes related to the politically unstable nation of Afghanistan at that time, I cannot really comment whether the portrayal is just or unjust to the true situation. Usually I don't pick up books with war theme mainly due to the fact that I loathe its hideousness. I wasn't sure why I finally read it, but anyway, the deed has been done. And this is what I think about it.

But first, maybe a little bit of the story. In The Kite Runner, two young Afghanistan boys' life and relationship change dramatically and drastically forever when on one fateful day, something dreadful happened to one of them. Shortly after, the Russian invasion and then the Taliban rule in Afghanistan occur and lasted and thus further affecting the whole nation, making both boys, Amir and Hassan, lead their own lives separately and differently. In this book, Amir is the storyteller, and what Amir tell in the whole book is actually about Hassan. Both boys are best friends, although they are different in terms of race and therefore also in social standing, where Amir is the 'respectable' Pashtun and Hassan is only a Hazara, whose father is the servant of Amir's father and he too, is also a servant to the family.

As a boy, Amir is so insecure, and always struggling and fighting for his father's love, recognition and affection. Though he gets the best company and friendship from Hassan, and also the best provision from his father, Amir always has a feeling of being less of a son to his father and somehow disturbed by his father's kind treatment to Hassan's family. One day, something terrible happened to Hassan and it really tested Amir's courage and sense of responsibility. What Amir decided later was what I consider as the biggest mistake in his life and the story afterwards is all about how he deals with his guilt and conscience while running away from the country with his father during the political unrest. When things took a lot of different twists and turns, Amir found himself back in his old neighbourhood, with a quest for redemption, salvation and facing the evil the way it should be done many years ago.

Reading this book, one might have to deal a lot of issues concerning insecurities, emotional struggle and bravery and cringe with disgust at Amir every time he always second thoughts the noble actions that he should have done due to fear while all the time he receives the loyalty, protection and kindness by the very same people he 'betrayed'. In the end, Amir gives us readers a streak of hope, and the rest ... you might just need to read the book. I give this book a thumbs up for how it moves me and the rich and detailed descriptions by the author. "For you, a thousand times over."

Title: The Kite Runner
Author: Khaled Hosseini
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing, paperback edition 2011 (original 2003)
Pages: 324 pages

untitled ... v.2

When a heart is empty
a day's like a million years
a night's like a darken millenium

When a heart is without soul
a laugh's like a chance of a lifetime
a smile's like a winning lottery

When a heart is lonely
the mind is restless
and reality becomes fantasy

no more alive in this shadowed world
fly without wings to a forsaken destiny?
unconscious and unaware
still within sanity?

Lo and behold. my colourful world!
where romance's in full blossom
it's Neverland

but nothing is for eternity
fleeing the fake lines
and lay before me, the hard life
it's me,
depending on me ... to be ME ...


~ January 30, 2000 ; 1st version

The dreamer©2012

Wreck-It Ralph

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Wreck-It Ralph is quite a fun movie with very positive values and good for all age range. Its setting of video game characters in an arcade having an "after work hours" life, socializing and even have in-game-out-of-game rules is very creative and interesting. The smooth story line and funny dialogues, not forgetting some 'emotionally intense' moments kept me glued to my seat and entertained me. Although I can't say that Wreck-It Ralph is better than any other animation movies thus far (I still think Toy Story 3 and Tangled are my personal favourites), it's not a bad one either. In fact it's a very good one.

To those who haven't seen it or don't have any idea what's it all about, the story is basically like this; Ralph (full name Wreck-It Ralph) is a video game character in 'Fix-It Felix' game. His job in the game is of course to wreck things which later will be fixed by none other than Fix-It Felix Jr. (Felix). In other words, Ralph is the big bad guy and Felix is the hero. After 30 years of wrecking things, Ralph feels tired of being the bad guy and being alone, and feels under-appreciated by his game colleagues as they ostracized him.

A wrecked party and a challenge later, Ralph sets out of his game to be a hero and most importantly, to be liked and to have friends. This landed him in another game, Hero's Duty. After unintentionally creating a havoc, Ralph somehow crash-landed himself in another game, Sugar Rush, where his path came across Vanellope von Schweets, a challenging yet adorable character in the game who turned out to be a 'glitch' or a 'bad code' (that's my own interpretation). Ralph finds himself making a deal with her, as each of them has a personal goal to achieve.

With that, the adventure (and trouble) continues in the form of the other racers and King Candy, whom at first we cannot be sure whether he is a devil or genuinely care for Vanellope. Felix, on the other hand, is facing his own adventure when searching for Ralph because as Ralph leaves and then stuck in Sugar Rush, the Fix-It Felix game can't be played and the game is going to be unplugged. Follow their adventures with ups and downs moments and later discover the truth about Vanellope and how Ralph finally learns his lessons and earns friends for the first time.

For me, the story teaches a person to be true to his/her own nature, be confident and respect other people. Find good in oneself and hone it to benefit the others. One thing though, there's a lot of swearing in this movie .... but not the expletives ones .. haha. Nice movie.

madah untuk ibu

Sesuci salji yang memutih
Sewangi kasturi bunga idaman
Begitulah indahnya kasih
darimu ibu di kampung laman

Damainya hatimu setenang tasik biru
Walau badai menghempas pantai kesabaranmu
Aku damba ketenanganmu ibu
Tatkala resah mendatangi kalbu

Tiap kali kita berjauhan
Ingatanku tega bak kasih pria dan dara
Harapanmu yang membara bagai dian
Menuntun inspirasiku ke gunung jaya

Ibu, ku tak pandai berkata-kata
Apatah lagi bermadah ria
Namun kemaafanmu amatku pinta
Jua berkat doamu terjunjung di jemala

Wahai ibu permata hati
Usiamu bertambah setahun lagi
Ku berdoa pada yang Maha Mengasihani
Agar dirimu kekal sejati

Rianglah ibu jangan berduka
Agar dikau sejahtera sentiasa
Inilah madah anakmu yang biasa
Tiada istimewa, namun ikhlas sentiasa

~ 18 November 1999

The dreamer©1999