it's all about trust

My Facebook status updating behaviour is a combination of many things. One of them is venting. And sometimes I vent on a certain topic more than once. One of that is TRUST.

For me, and I am sure it is the same for all of you sensible and mature folks out there, trust is like a china glass. It is so precious and fragile that you wanna hold it with so much care and gentleness. Coz you know, once you let it slipped off your hands, it will fall down and crash and it can never be the same again.

That is how all of us should treat trust. Not just be cautious in trusting other people but also be a trustworthy person yourself. Trust is a major thing in building relationships with your life companion, family, friends, and co-workers. Of course you expect more on spouses and immediate family members. When trust is gone, who is going to back you up when you really need the support? Who will believe you?

Throughout our life we can been hurt because of many things. Some of those pain can be forgotten, can be forgiven, can be mend ... and that's what we should do. But the pain that's caused by  violated trust  by someone that is close to us by blood is something that is very hard to be digested by our mind. It is something that would still linger at the back of our minds even though it has passed on for some time.

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I have trusted you coz you are my family. But every time all you did is break it. You gave lots of promises but you never keep it. Don't promise something if you are going to break it later. What more can I do, when you have drained it all, my love, my affections, my hopes for you to become better, my money, my trust? You know what's right but you chose to be weak. You know you've messed up a lot, but you never learn from your mistakes, you never step up to win the big breaks. Instead of making your past mistakes as your drive to success, you chose to whine and wail over them like bad music. Throughout your life, you have been given so many second chances, yet you failed to appreciate any of them, always landing yourself in trouble.

But the most heart-broken thing for me that you are still doing... is you turn your back to Allah... if you ever wonder why everything and everyone seems like failing you, it is because you have failed yourself. All that I have left, is my prayers. You are an adult, no more a child. Your parents have failed you when you are in need of love and guidance, but you have other family members who have helped you and advised you a lot all these times. Why can't you appreciate?

My prayers for you is about everything....be strong and cut the crap once and for all.

Aku Melayu di Kota Inggeris

I like reading travelogues, especially the ones written by a Muslim traveler. I like travelogues because I always like the idea of traveling although I have not done it as much as I want to. I really wish I can travel more in the future, to more distant places and doing much more different things. I always enjoy reading a Muslim traveler's story because I always want to know how to manage oneself by being a Muslim in places where everything is different from my home country, a country where there's no problem in living my life as a Muslim. I like to see the 'other' world from the traveler's perspective and learn how 'the others' react to the traveler. Having my own little share of travel experience when I lived in a foreign country for almost a year several years ago, and though I have collected many wonderful moments and learned a lot of new things there, I wished that I could do more than what I had done in seeking experiences from the aspects of Islam.

 

From my old posts, perhaps you readers have read some travelogues that I had read and reviewed here, like here, here, here and here. Recently, I found this book while waiting to board a plane (most of my travel books I bought while I was on a journey to other place, such a thematic purchase...). Aku Melayu di Kota Inggeris is a book in Malay language written by a Malay scholar, Dr. Muhaimin Sulam, about his experiences while studying in University of Wales Trinity St. David, UK. He divided his story in three parts. In the first part, he shares things about the community around him and the country in the cultural, socioeconomic, historical and political aspects. The second part touches more on the life of Muslims in UK and his experiences and involvement in the Muslim community activities there. The poignant memoir of his late father is evident in the third part, showing how important he is in the author's life. Although there are three parts in this book, I don't feel that there's any distinct differences between them. I feel that there's everything in every chapter and it is full of values.

 

I don't have prior knowledge about Dr. Muhaimin but from this book, I think that it is quite obvious that he is very knowledgeable of the nation's politics and is involved in it at a certain level. However, this author is pretty fair in his comments and presents his discussion in a way that make the readers ponder about it without misconceptions or bad impressions on anybody.

 

All in all, Dr. Muhaimin's travelogue is enjoyable to read. It is always good to learn things that others have learned and to be mindful or aware of the things that happen to ordinary people like us but who lives so far away, and also of the things people take as their values in life.

 

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Miss Simplicity

There are some things in my life that I like to be perfect by my own standards or up to the quality that I wanted. But for most of the other things, I don't mind being simple. I like to be simple for things that need to be simple. Over the years, especially the years of growing up, I might have made some mistakes in choosing what I need. But as I grow older, I learn more.

Being simple in your life has connections with good prioritizing. And after all of the complexities that we have to deal with in our marriage, our work, and the various systems that we are involved in, it's better to cut down the stress level on other things that we can manage to be simple.

The idea of simple can be translated in many ways. For a woman like me who doesn't care much for high-end fashion, it doesn't matter not having tudung Fareeda or Ariani to cover my hair as long as the affordable ones that I wear can cover what it's supposed to be covering. For Hari Raya self-preparation, it doesn't matter to me that I don't buy new clothes, new shoes and new scarves for myself, as long as I can spend my money on something more deserving such as my mom's needs and home supplies. And if I have kids of my own, I would spend it on my kids in a way that I can also teach them the value of money.

Being simple is not the same as being a cheapskate. That's two different things. It is something that I am always teaching and reminding myself. In the financial aspect, if we have limited resources, we have to manage it well so that we won't be landing in great debts. If our resources are abundant, we still have to manage it well so that we can help others more. Sometimes when we have more, we can invest on something good that can last long. Just for example, if we spent it on a pair of shoes, let them be a pair of shoes that we can wear for at least the next Hari Raya. 

Outside of the financial aspect, being simple is just being who you are, being comfortable, being moderate and being able to concentrate your time and mind to other important things in your life. In the end, if your personal taste is in good harmony with the average thickness of your wallet, then it is no problem to lead a simple life.